Verbatim

"Bye, Momma. I'm leaving you alone because I'm going to work."
"What are you going to do at work?"
"Chase my little kids."

Watching the ushers bring up the gifts at mass,
"Are those the three Wise Men?"

"Is that ice cream, Momma?"
"No, it's cream cheese. Do you want a taste?"
"No, I like pizza cheese. I don't like that curds and whey."

"Momma, what's that?"
"That's cauliflower. Someone grew that for us in their garden."
"Who? Papa John?"
(her grandfather who actually hates anything vegetable)

"Joan, do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"
"No, I just want peanut butter and scoop?"
"Haha, that's not what it's called."
"Oh. I mean peanut butter and spoon."

"Joan, do you know what happens to Jesus on Easter? Where does He go?"
"To get the eggs."