Jude Landry Store

Monday, May 16, 2011

Verbatim

"Joan, will you just rub my face softly? I'm sleepy."
"Well... I'm just kind of busy tonight. I'm brushing my hair."

"My Momma, there are a lot of children at the park."
"Yeah, Joan. There are. Are you one of the children?"
"Uuuummm. I think I am one of the children."

"Aw, Joan. You have a boo boo on your nose."
"But how did it come here?"

"But Momma, I don't want to go home."
"Why?"
"It's too dangerous."

"I like your purse, Momma."
"Thank you."
"Where did you get it?"
"At a store."
"What kind of store?"
"A purse store."
"Oh. Burp Cheap?"
(Even more funny if you know that I like to shop at a discount store called Dirt Cheap.)

Joan comes running up to me shouting,
"Tear, tear! Tear it up!
"What?"
Then I hear Jude laughing hysterically, saying,
"No! You were supposed to say, 'Get Tor Up!'"
(Even more funny if you know that my highschool's mascot was the Golden Tornado and we always chanted, "Get Tor Up!"

"What's this, my Momma?"
"A starcrunch."
"A starcrunch? I've never eaten that before..."
"Yeah. Don't tell anyone, either."

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