Our Engagement Story

Betty Beguiles is collecting engagement stories and sharing them on her blog, so here's our whole story - from beginning to end. I'll try to keep it short. You can do this, too.

In 2002, I was a freshman in college and attending daily Mass. Looking at everyone’s reflection in the glass behind the altar, I thought, Oh my, I guess I could meet my future husband at any moment now...

After Mass, I met some older students on the steps outside the chapel. Jude was one of them and introduced himself as this year’s president of the campus ministry. He was so handsome, friendly, and Catholic… so, you know… I began my crush.

We quickly became good friends through our involvement in the campus ministry and praise band. But as my attraction for him grew, he started dating someone else.

They dated for about a year and a half and we remained friends throughout this time. We just got along so well and were so comfortable with one another. And I was even in and out of crushes on different guys (I’m sure you remember this, Jill…).

When he broke up with her, he came to me for support. And a good while after their relationship ended, he developed feelings for me and shared them with me. I however, was right in the middle of a crush that actually had potential.

But we were always honest with each other. He shared with me his feelings and actual love for me, and I told him I was confused. Poor thing. He continued to pursue me, I mean really pursue me - letters, gifts, surprise visits, and writing me songs.

During this time of crushing and pursuing (the spring of 2004), I was elected as president for the following school year and decided to remain single to be more devoted to the students. And over the spring and summer, my feelings for the other kid eventually faded.

But my feelings for Jude basically exploded. And since I was trying to be single and I wasn’t sure if the feelings were solely because of his affection, we began discerning if we were meant to be in a relationship.

I realized over the summer that I did love him, and I shared this with him, too – all before being together we were both saying ‘I love you.’ But then, trying to be single became more of a distraction than just being in a relationship with him and having his support.

So on Thanksgiving, he came to my parents’ house and told them that he would be asking to court me soon. They said, “Uh, what does that mean? Are you engaged?” We assured them that it just meant we were taking dating very seriously and it could lead to a quick engagement.

On November 29, 2004, he made me dinner, bought me presents, sang me a song, and asked to court me. And thank God, because life got easier (and better) after that.

It soon became clear that we were called to marriage. He asked for my father’s blessing and picked out a ring, all with out me knowing.

And on October 14, 2005, he proposed.

We were leaving town so that I could sing in a wedding and we stopped by the Catholic center so that I could make copies of the music first. After getting out of the car, he said, “Actually, I already made the copies.” While I was asking why and what we were doing, he led me to the steps of the chapel and reminded me that this was the very place he met me, the beginning of our friendship, the foundation of our courtship and spiritual connection. And in front of Christ in the Eucharist, and he knelt down and said, “Alisha, I want to serve Christ with you for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”

And on July 29, 2006, I married him.

     1.5 years of solid friendship
+   9 months of discernment
+  11 months of courtship
+   9 months of engagement
--------------------------------------------
5 years of marriage that I’m very grateful for

Great. This didn’t make me miss Jude at all.