Verbatim

"Papa... my bathing suit has water in it..."

"Momma, I don't like Wal-Mart."
"Why?"

"I don't like the cold part and it has too much stuff in it."
"Too much stuff?"

"Yeah - too much princess stuff!"

"Momma, we're pretending to eat camouflage."

"But you can't actually eat camouflage."

"Yeah - that's why we're pretending..."

"Hey Momma! It's almost your birthday. Then you can get a new husband!"
"Yeah, that's not how that works..."

"Joan, stop eating your hair."
"I'm only tasting it, and it's salty."

"What are you eating for lunch, Momma?"
"A salad."
"... oh... I didn't know mommas could eat leaves!"

"Ugh... Charlotte's poo looks like fog..."