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Sunday, May 13, 2012

So very blessed.

You knew it was coming, right? A post dedicated to all things Mother on this very special day. Well, here it is.

As tradition holds, my gift is an illustration of our family by Jude. This is my 3rd one. I just love them and I can't wait to have decades of drawings of us, watching us grow into the future - maybe more kids, the addition of their spouses & children, or maybe even a pet (who am I kidding...). And this year's is so sweet!

And since mother's day isn't all about me...

I want to say how very fortunate I feel. And not just in the general way that we all feel grateful for our moms on this day, but a very specific appreciation for the present relationships I have with my mothers.

We can all look back and be thankful for the gifts they've given us and the sacrifices they've made for us, but I've come to realize that so many people, many are dear friends of mine, have damaged relationships with their moms and especially with their mother-in-laws. And in this is where I feel most fortunate. Not only can I look to the past with appreciation, but I am so very blessed by the relationships I have now with these great women.

 My mom offers the same generosity and sacrifice now, as she did 28 years ago. That whole, "Hey - I did my time. This is pay back!" mentality will never find a place in my mom's heart or mouth. I've never known anyone to go to the lengths my mom will go, just to help. And to be so generous our entire lives, yet avoiding having 3 very spoiled girls, must be a miracle and a gift I hope to pass down... And some people have mothers that are still trying to raise them - butting in on their decisions and giving out unsolicited advice. But my mom chooses to listen and dole out compassion and encouragement instead.

And the mother-in-law I have - oh man - I am blessed. The stories some of my friends can share about the rude and antagonistic comments their mother-in-laws have made... these are what movies are made of. My friends have stories of how they've overstepped boundaries or interfered in their families, pinning kids or husbands against them. Or in the moments when they were seemingly generous or helpful, they hold these actions over my friends' heads and turn the gift into a debt. Not mine. In fact, she's so similar to my own mother, that it's been so easy and natural being around her. She is helpful and generous, but always defers to us for decision-making. And her gifts, tangible or not, always come from a truly humble place - never for leverage. She trusts me with her son and her grandchildren, and this is the foundation of our great relationship.

So yeah, I have it pretty good. My prayer is that I'm able to have these types of relationships with my own adult children and their possible spouses. I will forever remember the exchanges of love and admiration between me and my mothers, and hopefully I'll be able to demonstrate that in the future, too.


Bonnie said...

What a lovely post, Alisha. You are blessed by your moms.

The thing I always like about your family pictures is how Jude draws you. He makes you so sweet and beautiful (not that you aren't! You are!) but I feel like it's a glimpse into how he sees you. :)

Kelly Aldridge said...

I love, love, LOVE the new family drawing!!! So precious and special!!!